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  The worst part was not just that Elsie’s parents wouldn’t leave her alone but they pitied her and looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was, maybe she was a stark raving lunatic. Nevertheless, she thought it was better than being like the rest of the self-centered materialistic assholes at school. And in just a few more months she could leave. Get out of this place that reminded her every day of how different she was, how she didn’t fit in, how everyone thought she wasn’t good enough. She was going to leave and never look back.

  I hate me. I hate everything about me, the way I talk, the way I laugh, my hair, my face, my scrawny body. I hate it all. I can’t change my body, but I can change one thing; my hair. The only pair of scissors I can find in the whole damn house are the big black-handle kitchen ones. My well-meaning mother took the ones from my room, and the ones we kept in the bathroom for trimming, as soon as she found out I was cutting.

  This metamorphosis will mark the death of sweet, trusting, and hopeful Elsie. She was killed by a selfish boy in a dark field, leaving behind an empty, bitter, and angry shell.

  CHAPTER 5 “In the dark there’s a light that’s calling everyone out, if you could see beyond the walls that you have built. I know it’s hard to escape the past and start it again…”

  Lyrics “Old Scars/Future Hearts” by All Time Low

  “Hey, girl, what are you up to? Getting people to move better?” Elsie asks Janie.

  Janie’s an Occupational Therapist and works in schools, convalescent homes, and private practices.

  It’s 10 A.M. and Elsie’s sitting in front of her computer looking through the local film production listings and sending off her resume’. She’s also submitted it to a few short term projects up and down the East coast. Elsie’s last project wrapped two months ago and she’s starting to get antsy, feeling the need to get back to the hectic insanity of working on a film. She knows that, more than likely, nothing will open up until after the first of the year, but she wants to get a head start on the competition. Since Elsie’s been home with downtime, she’s worked on some of her own designs, but it’s a little disheartening when no one will be wearing them. Still, it doesn’t stop her from bringing her ideas to life.

  “Good morning sleepyhead, did I wake you? Not everyone’s as lucky as you are and can sleep in,” Janie cheerfully teases her.

  “Hah, no, I always try to get up fairly early, I can’t get used to sleeping in. It only makes it harder for me when I’m on a project, and shooting starts at daybreak.”

  “Damn, I didn’t realize it could be that grueling. That would totally suck.”

  “Yeah, it does, but it usually goes by quick, so it’s all good.”

  “Listen, I don’t know if I mentioned it,” Janie begins, “If you don’t have anything to do this weekend I’ve got a 5K run downtown on Saturday morning at 9 A.M.. The UNCW soccer team is going to participate and it’s to benefit the homeless and needy children in the area. It’s being coordinated by Azalea Pediatrics. Would you care to join me?”

  “Are you kidding me? That sounds so cool! With all of those sexy ass soccer players, of course I’ll be there. Where’s it starting at?” Elsie couldn’t hide her enthusiasm.

  Children have always held a tender spot in Elsie’s heart. She generally prefers the company of children over adults, to her they were genuine, kinder, and more sincere. And the soccer players will just be the icing on the cake.

  “At Chandler’s Wharf. I know, I can’t wait. Unfortunately, I’m going to look like a disgusting mess when it’s over. They’re asking participants and supporters to bring an unwrapped children’s gift. I’ll text you with the info link, so you can see what they’re looking for in the way of gift ideas.”

  “Excellent, I’m so excited, will any kids be there? I’d love to play with them.” Elsie’s excitement was evident in her voice. Maybe it was because she didn’t have any brothers or sisters and grew up pretty much alone.

  “No girl, of course not, they’d see all of their presents and then it wouldn’t be a surprise,” Janie laughs at her.

  “Oh, yeah, makes sense,” Elsie says quietly, then laughs at her own silliness.

  “Fantastic, so I’ll see you Saturday morning at around 8:30/9:00 and I’ll text you the link. I’m gonna call Elizabeth now, so she and Mr. Man can drag their sexy asses out of bed too. Oh, and heads up, I’ll be the one dressed like Santa’s sexy elf. Bye, Babe,” Janie tells her friend.

  “I can’t wait to see you in all your holiday running attire. Bye Honey, thanks for calling, I’m looking forward to it.”

  Elsie’s phone buzzes with a text as soon as she puts it down. It’s the link to the charity benefit that’s coordinating Janie’s 5K run benefit. Elsie types the link into the search bar on her browser and begins to look through the wishlist of toys and necessities the kids are asking for. Elsie has a feeling that if the kids don’t get these items from the benefit, they won’t get them at all. Without the event, Christmas would end up being just another shitty day for the kids, except even worse because it’s Christmas. The thought of it fills Elsie with sadness. Clicking on the print screen button, Elsie jumps up to take a shower and get dressed. She needed to get busy shopping.

  *

  Saturday morning at 8:32 Elsie is turning the corner onto Water Street at the Cape Fear riverfront. The Wharf is only a few blocks from Marco’s building, so Elsie is sure that if Marco and Elizabeth are here, or if they’re coming, they’ll walk. Walking through the neighborhood, she is reminded of why she enjoys Chandler’s Wharf, nestled in its own secluded place in the city, with its restaurants, boutiques, and tiny galleries. She’s carrying two shopping bags, one in each hand, and she’s humming Christmas carols to herself as she approaches the starting point for the race. She starts in on Silent Night, it’s one of her favorites an always gets her choked up.

  The holiday decorations that the city and the neighborhood have put out are beautiful. The trees lining the streets are draped in crisp white lights, the doors and windows have swags of old fashioned ribbons and bows in red and gold. The large wreaths adorning doors and windows evoke a sense of Victorian nostalgia, all complimenting the historic charm of the area.

  Turning the corner, Elsie stops in her tracks. The crowd assembled for the 5K run is amazing. Happiness fills Elsie as she thinks of all of the presents the children will be getting. She thinks this is probably the most people that this street has ever seen at this time on a Saturday morning,

  Hurrying, she makes her way through the crowd until she finds the booth for the present drop off. “Excuse me, do I leave these here?” Elsie asks the hippie looking woman, with a thick loose ponytail of dreadlocks, standing inside the booth.

  “Yes, thank you so much!” she answers with genuine appreciation, reaching across the counter to relieve Elsie of the two bags.

  “Unless those toys are for me, ‘cause I love toys,” comes a man’s voice she knows all too well, the one that keeps her up nights, wondering what it would be like to have him in her bed.

  Elsie swivels her head towards the voice, yanking the bags back with the movement. Her eyes collide with John’s in his beaming face.

  Damn, the man looks delicious, even early in the morning! Elsie thinks to herself wide-eyed, surprised to see him here.

  “What are you doing here?!” she blurts out, her obvious surprise is evident in her squeaky voice.

  “Well, it’s good to see you too, Elsie! I’m glad to see you’re a morning person, don’t people who sleep half the day away get on your nerves? They miss the best part of the day,” John says beaming at her. His gaze takes in all of her, moving from her small heart shaped face, down her body hugged by a tight hooded jacket, moving to her legs clad in dark denim skinny jeans, stopping at her red converse, Elsie’s nod towards Christmas.

  “Did you want me to take those?” Hippie Lady asks, a little smile still on her face.

  “Oh, yeah, sorry, I got,” she turns to glare at John, “distracted,” she says
handing the bags to the woman. “Thank you.”

  Turning to face John, she shoves her hands in the pockets on the front of her jacket, Elsie repeats her earlier question, “So, what are you doing here?”

  John steps up beside her, places a hand on her back and to leads her away from the gift drop-off booth.

  “Same as you. I came, it seems like we all came from the gym, to support one of our members and a very good cause,” he answers her and lifts his chin pointing.

  Elsie follows his nod and her eyes fall on the group of big muscular men, all of them wearing Evolutions Gym sweatshirts. There had to be at least twenty of them. Elsie’s mouth falls open at the incredible show of support from this gym that they’d only somewhat recently joined. On one side of the group, Elsie sees Marco and Elizabeth talking with a couple of the guys, and to the other side her eyes land upon Janie…dressed in red runner’s leggings, and a green t-shirt with a big gold belt, her medium length blonde hair pulled up in a bun. She really does look like a sexy elf. Janie’s a taller girl, with what most would consider larger hips, but she was totally rocking her outfit, filling it out with curves in all the right places. As they approach, Elsie realizes who Janie’s with; it’s Scott, from the gym. He’s standing very close, his big frame shielding Janie as she looks up into his face with a smile curving her lips.

  What the hell is going on there? Elsie thinks to herself, but decides to not broach the subject until he’s gone. Besides, she’s got her own situation, right here, to deal with.

  “Come on, Elsie, let me get you a hot chocolate,” John breaks into her thoughts after giving her time to survey the situation around her.

  He leads her to another booth, never removing his hand from her back.

  “Can we have two please?” he asks the college kid who’s stuck on hot chocolate duty this chilly December morning. It’s clear he’d much rather be home in bed, but the guy is really trying to make the best of it.

  “Sure, would you like whipped cream?” he asks.

  John looks over at Elsie, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

  Elsie blushes slightly as she answers, “Yes, please,” feeling like a little kid.

  John smiles and turns back to Mr. Happy, “Yes, please, on both of them.” He’d be damned if he was going to let her feel stupid. His gaze moves back to Elsie while the kid prepares their drinks. She’s looking out at the crowd gathered together to bring some happiness and cheer to the children, for Christmas. Joy is glowing on her face, making her eyes shine and her smile widen.

  She has an ethereal, natural, beauty, it’s fucking amazing. I can’t take my eyes off her, the thought fills John’s mind as warmth spreads through his body.

  The happiness that’s emanating from Elsie is contagious and he is happy just seeing her joy.

  “You seem very happy, Elsie,” his voice is a soft rumbling whisper.

  Elsie looks up into this massive man’s gentle face, and her smile gets bigger.

  “Yes, I am. This is so wonderful. The kids are going to have a great Christmas,” Elsie is saying as she looks out at the crowd, “And you guys from the gym are a definitive factor in that.” She turns her full attention back to him, her eyes glimmering, “Thank you.”

  John turns shy at Elsie’s endearing compliment, and he lowers his gaze, “Nah, it’s no big deal. We do what we do because we care about the community, and everyone in it. The little people, to me, are the most important.”

  A question pops into Elsie’s head at John’s response.

  “How many presents did you bring, John?” she asks him, as she puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes at him, while trying not to smile.

  His face turns a deep red because he feels like he’s been caught red handed at something he was trying to hide, “I don’t know.”

  “Don’t let him shit you, Elsie. He had to back his pick-up truck in to unload them all. There had to be at least ten laptops in that mess,” Janie’s voice comes from over Elsie’s shoulder.

  Stunned, Elsie is speechless as she looks at this enigma of a man standing before her. She doesn’t know what to think. Her heart wants to burst from all of the emotions she’s feeling right now, and most of them are because of this man in front of her. It takes every ounce of her control to not to throw her arms around his neck, and cover his face with kisses. She wants to shower him with everything in her, the joy, the happiness, and all of the pent-up longing. Despite the December chill, she can feel a piece of the ice inside her beginning to melt away.

  For the first time, Elsie feels that she just might be able to trust a man. Just maybe.

  “Stop, Janie, it wasn’t that much. I just couldn’t carry it all over here, and, um, I was too lazy to make a couple of trips,” he says trying to sound convincing.

  “That’s crap, John, but I’m not got going to tease you about it. You, and the rest of the guys, have made sure the kids are going to have an amazing Christmas.”

  “Oh my God, John, that’s incredible,” Elsie can’t help but beam at John.

  John shakes his head as the blush begins to fade, “It wasn’t that much,” he tries to insist.

  He looks into Elsie’s face, his heart skipping a beat at the unguarded emotion he sees there, and it makes him smile. He wants to kiss her, and let all of the goodness he’s feeling pour into her and fill her up until it pushes away all of that hidden sadness within her forever.

  “Uh huh,” Janie mocks him playfully. “Anyway, I just came over, before I have to do my stretches, to say thank you, John. You really are a big teddy bear underneath all of that brawn,” she says, all signs of joking gone. Then turning to Elsie she continues, “And thank you Babes, for coming out this morning,” Janie says taking Elsie in her arms for a quick hug.

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for anything, Honey.”

  “Here are your hot chocolates,” the kid in the booth says, trying to get their attention.

  John turns to him and pulls out a $20 bill, passing it to him, “Thanks, dude, keep the change…for the charity.”

  Both cups are practically overflowing with whipped cream, as John hands Elsie hers.

  “I’d like to invite you ladies over to my house, after the run, for a tree trimming party. Some of the guys are going to be there, including Brian,” he glances to Elsie, “Scott,” and he turns his eyes to Janie, “And I think Marco and Elizabeth are coming as well.”

  “Hi guys!” Elizabeth shouts as she and Marco walk towards them.

  “We heard our names, what’s up?” Marco asks John.

  “You guys are coming over today for the tree decorating, right?” John asks them both.

  “Of course we are, you two are coming too, no buts about it,” Elizabeth answers John looking at both Janie and Elsie.

  “Well, I’ll have to run home and turn back into a fairy princess from the Sweat Hog Ogre I’m going to be after the run. Just text me the address with the time and I’ll meet everyone there, ok? I’ve got to go start my stretches, see you guys afterwards.” Janie quickly walks off towards the other runners who were already beginning their preparations.

  This is Elsie’s first opportunity to see the soccer players from UNCW’s Hammerheads team. What a sight they are, lean, and toned, and sexy.

  “We can definitely kick all of their asses at the same time, can’t we John?” Brian’s comment pulls Elsie’s attention back. She didn’t realize she’d been ogling their tight little asses, as they were bending over stretching their legs.

  “Damn right we can, but I’m not going to waste my energy on them, Bro,” John answers him, unintentionally puffing his chest out as he does.

  “You guys are jealous,” Elsie laughs, looking back and forth between the two of them.

  “Jealous, of those puny little guys? Hardly,” Brian scoffs.

  “Come on, boys, no need to get your cock feathers all bent out of shape over the little guys,” Marco can’t resist busting their humps as well.

  Elizabeth leans into Elsi
e’s ear and whispers loudly, “I think that they’re worried one of those guys will steal you away, since they haven’t been able to steal you for themselves.”

  Elsie’s eyes widen as she stares at Elizabeth.

  There’s no way she can know what John and Brian had insinuated at the Halloween party, no freakin’ way! Elsie shouts in her head.

  Elizabeth’s face is filled with amusement as she raises an eyebrow at the two guys.

  No, she doesn’t, she was just playing around. Oh my God, I would have died.

  “Elizabeth, my dear, it will be a cold day in hell before I worry about a puny soccer player taking anything I want. You can bet on that,” John tells her, calm certainty in his steely voice.

  “That’s my boy,” Marco laughs, slapping both John and Brian on their backs. “Tell us what we can bring today, John,” Marco asks, breaking the now uncomfortable subject.

  This is going to be long day, Elsie thinks to herself, as she internally rolls her eyes.

  “I’ve got everything covered, but if you’d like to bring some eggnog, we can never have too much of that,” he smiles at his friend.

  “Believe it or not, Dude, I make killer eggnog,” Marco smiles, shaking his head at the fact he just admitted it in front of his two MMA buddies and Elsie.

  “You’re shitting me, right, Bro?” John asks him disbelievingly and trying not to laugh.

  “I kid you not, Dude,” Marco laughs out loud.

  “In all honesty, guys, Marco is excellent in the kitchen,” Elizabeth tries to save her boyfriend’s reputation.

  “I don’t doubt that, but can the guy cook?” Brian can’t resist the jab.

  Elizabeth turns bright red, “That is what I meant, Jerk!” she retorts, and swats Brian on the shoulder.

  “You should try playing with food, boys, it’s amazing what you can do,” Marco says smirking at Elizabeth, making her blush deepen.

  As if on cue, Elsie lowers her face to the cup of hot chocolate in her hand. When she looks back up there is a dot of whipped cream on the tip of her nose, and some at the corner of her mouth. All four sets of eyes are on her.